A dear new friend confessed last week that she is a "Chronic Over-Sharer", and it struck a chord with me. This is a theme that God seems to have put in my life the past few months.
Beth Moore says in herstudy of Esther:"We can not realize our destiny without transparency."
I'm sorry to break this to you, but yes, I tend to babble at times. I know this comes as a major shock. Ha! This is something that I have tried to reign in over the past year, and had much prayer about (obviously, God isn't done with me yet if this post is any indication!).
Yesterday's post gnawed at me last night...Satan kept whispering "You shouldn't have posted that long bit about your father. No one cares. No one wants to read that depressing mess...You should delete it - right now (at midnight) or first thing in the morning at least. Really, that was just pathetic!"
I've spent an awful lot of energy and time concealing certain parts of my life from others. I know I'm not alone here - can I get an "Amen" from the sisters?? Some things I just don't share with people - whether I've known them for years or just met them recently. They are shameful, embarrassing, and yes - I fear those people won't accept me anymore if they knew. If you're one of those people who has read my blog from the beginning, you might be thinking to yourself right now "Oh, I don't see that she has ANY trouble sharing...I remember that one post...oh, and THAT one - yikes!"
Butreal transparency?
I want to be transparent.
I want to be a Chronic Over-Sharer if it will help someone else along their journey. And for my friend - your sharing most definitely helps! :)
I want to be a person who knows so deeply in her heart that "There is therefore now no condemnation..."that I can share freely, truly, and be authentic in every part of my life.
I'm just trying to figure out how to do that. Any tips? :)
I'm really trying to get back to a Happy Place here at Frugal Grace, but there's just been a lot going on that I need to process lately. So I hope I'm not totally bumming everyone out here!
Please note when you read this, "self-love" doesn't mean being conceited or selfish! It means making ourselves the best we can be as women! My personal belief is that this begins with a solid relationship with Jesus Christ, but I also think he gives us tools on this earth to help us along the path. Some of these tools are in Christine's book and the Madly in Love with ME day celebrations! ~Melinda
Guest post by Christine Arylo:
Feed the kids. Get a raise. Lose the weight. Clean the house. Wear the lingerie!
Whew! It is tiring being a woman these days. We have more opportunities, self-confidence and independence than any generation of women before, yet something isn’t working. Why is it so exhausting? How is it that the last 30 years of unparalleled equality has also had the unintended impact of liberating women into a new jail cell?
The answer is pretty straightforward according to Christine Arylo, recovering achievement junkie and doing addict turned inspirational catalyst, author, coach and speaker…we are currently experiencing a “crisis of self-love.”
“Women today face challenges and pressures like no other generation,” she says. “The 21st century woman has more opportunities, self-confidence and independence than any generation of women before, yet something isn’t working. While this woman knows she can do anything, she feels a tremendous pressure to do, be and have everything.”
A recent study by Time Magazine states that 40% of women are the major breadwinners in their families, and 55% report that they still take care of most of the responsibilities at home. Add to that fact that 68% of women see a conflict between working and raising a family, and you can understand why so many women are exhausted, overwhelmed and no happier than their mothers and grandmothers were in the 1970s.
"Get clear about the areas that you do love about yourself and the areas that you don’t. Put energy into both and make it a practice.”
Wouldn't you love to do this? I know I would!
Arylo encourages women to start with a 40-day self-love practice in any area of her life needing more self-love – having better relationships, taking care of yourself first, treating your body like a temple, expressing yourself fully. “The yogis, metaphysicians and brain scientists agree,” explains Arylo, “that if you can do anything for 40 days you can alter patterns and beliefs that have the power to change your life.”
Arylo gives an example of a 40-day self–love practice focused on relationships.
“Ask yourself, ‘Does every relationship in my life honor and respect me?’
If the answer is no, you owe it to yourself to straighten out those relationships, or let go of the ones you can’t improve. There is no reason to have a relationship in your life that doesn’t support you to be the best you or create the life you want to live. The only reason to have a relationship is because it helps you be a better person, or it helps you live your dreams.”
“Be honest with yourself. So many of us say our lives are ‘fine’ but when you truly look at our relationships – friendships, romantic relationships, relatives – that really isn’t the case. We often refuse to face the truth because we are afraid of what the truth will require us to do. For example, we aren’t really afraid to end a relationship, we are more afraid of what people will think. We are deathly afraid of being alone. And many people can’t handle feeling like a failure. But, self-love requires self honesty,” she says. “It’s not an option.”
“When it comes to self-love and relationships, I believe that every woman, no matter how successful or beautiful she is, desires to be deeply loved. And that love has to start with herself,” she says. “Learning how to both give and receive love, to both have strong boundaries and be vulnerable enough to freely love, is a practice, one that all women can benefit from. And one that you may need some help with.”
“One of the reasons I wrote Choosing ME before WE and started the Madly in Love with ME movement, is to give women a place to connect with other women and learn from each other. We all face the same struggles and challenges, the details just look different. But when we reach out for inspiration, support and wisdom we have the power to change our lives. It is said that it will be women that change this world. But if we don’t take care of ourselves, we can’t change anything.”
“Begin by asking yourself what you really want in life,” she says.
“Then start taking the action steps to fall more and more madly in love…with you.”
About Madly in Love with ME™
Madly in Love with ME launches every year on the day before Valentine’s Day. On February 13th Arylo asks every woman and girl to make a promise of self-love to herself for the year, and to recommit to a life-long self-love promise to know and honor what her heart and soul desire, never settling for less. Arylo encourages every woman and girl to participate in this day.
“Without self-love, we end up in relationships and lives that don’t support or respect us, that take more than they give and that reflect our own lack of deep unconditional love for the woman we are right now, today.” she says.
To inspire and support women to take this challenge, in 2010, Madly in Love with ME events will take place on February 13th in 4 major cities – San Francisco, Chicago, Orlando and San Diego www.madlyinlovewithme.com/events These ‘Self-Luvapalooza’s’ make self-love a tangible reality for women through experiences, talks, performances, and interactive exercises led by amazing women who have struggled with and overcome the same challenges. Women who attend the flagship San Francisco event at the Claremont Resort and Spa, will spend the day with some of the top transformational teachers and performers of our time!
If the Madly in Love with Me event is not hosted in your town, Arylo encourages every woman to throw your own self-love soiree’. She’s developed an entire kit full of daring yet practical ways to bring more self-love into your life. Download the kit for free at www.madlyinlovewithme.com.
About Christine Arylo
Christine Arylo is an inspirational catalyst, m.b.a, coach, teacher and speaker. Author of Choosing ME before WE, Arylo’s opinions and techniques have appeared on E! Entertainment, WGN, FOX, CBS and ABC TV as well as in radio stations, spas and business schools across the country.
Contact Christine: Get the book! www.mebeforewe.com Get the Kit! www.madlyinlovewithme.com Read her blog!www.daretoliveyou.com/blog/ Tweet her! www.twitter.com/christinearylo
I got this in an email this morning. I usually delete forwards, but this one was so good I had to post it. I even printed it to hang up on my mirror at home - I definitely need these reminders! Hope you're blessed by it, as well.
1. Pray. 2. Go to bed on time. 3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed. 4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule; or that will compromise your mental health. 5. Delegate tasks to capable others. 6. Simplify and unclutter your life. 7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.) 8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places. 9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together. 10. Take one day at a time. 11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it. 12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for every day purchases. 13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc. 14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble. 15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday. 16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line. 17. Get enough rest. 18. Eat right. 19. Get organized so everything has its place. 20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life. 21. Write down thoughts and inspirations. 22. Every day, find time to be alone. 23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray. 24. Make friends with Godly people. 25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand. 26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good 'Thank you Jesus.' 27. Laugh. 28. Laugh some more! 29. Take your work seriously; but not yourself at all. 30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can). 31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most). 32. Sit on your ego. 33. Talk less; listen more. 34. Slow down. 35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe. 36. Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.
